Twelve months ago, I thought I was having a heart attack.
I woke up at 6 am as is my habit to go walk. I didn’t feel great. I decided to take a shower and read and write until work. I got in the shower and I started getting dizzy. My heart rate felt elevated and I was clammy.
I got out of the shower and sat on the couch for a moment. I didn’t have any chest pains so I thought it was only a dizzy spell and the beginning of the flu. I tried to get up and was still very dizzy. So, I sat for a few more minutes confused by what was going on. Should I call an ambulance? If it is a heart attack, they would be able to help, but if it wasn’t I would have wasted a lot of money. I determined driving myself was the best course of action.
It was good I wasn’t having a heart attack otherwise I would have died circling around searching for a parking spot. Once admitted they assessed that I wasn’t having a heart attack and dropped me in a room. Yet, whenever one of the nurses would take my blood pressure they would look at me like I was about to die.
I left the hospital after 8 hours with a doctors appointment in a month which led to a change in my lifestyle. I lost weight, I started exercising regularly, meditating, and eating better. Everything I did has led me to where I am today.
Where is that?
That experience and the following 12 months clarified for me, what it is that I want in my life. The biggest change besides losing weight and dedicating myself to craft beer (writing about and talking about it) is that I’ve found someone to love. That would not have been possible without that moment I thought I was having a heart attack.
For reasons beyond my comprehension, this woman reciprocates my love. There are things in her life and past that have shaped her into bravest and strongest person I know. I endeavor every day to tell her how much I appreciate her and love her. I had given up on the idea that I would ever meet someone who I could love and who could love me. With each passing day, I can envision a long-life walking side by side with her. I want to tell her all my stories.
That is the biggest and best change, as well as the one that makes the others possible. Some of the other changes haven’t occurred in the physical world yet. They are things I’m changing mentally and internally that will bear fruit over the next 12-18 months. They will involve my growing interest in writing and talking about craft beer.
New reviews and other writing will be posted soon. In the meantime, listen to the new podcast. We have fun.